Alcohol fuels bad choices.

I love to cook, really love it. Keeping this in mind, why did the boy and I find ourselves perusing the "baked goods" area of our local grocery store late Thursday evening? What were we thinking letting our fingers dance over packages of mystery-filled danishes and silkily glazed muffins?

I know what we were thinking. One word: Vodka. Two good drinks and we were ready to throw all of our devotion to our own kitchen aside and cheat on her good and hard with these lard-packed delights. And we profess such love. Shameless.

In any event, we headed home that night with a $4 package of a dozen glazed pumpkin doughnuts. They sounded harmless enough, and they certainly looked and tasted heavenly. However, a morning-after inspection led to a horrifying realization. Not only had we neglected our kitchen, but we had eaten food worthy of tempting Satan himself.

Look at these babies ....

... don't you just want to eat them? Well, don't. These innocent and delicious looking baked goods pack 300 calories into three itty bites. That's right.

300 CALORIES!

Good god ... what do we do with the remnants of the package? Surely we can't eat them ...

Remember kids, friends don't let friends drink and purchase baked goods.